


"If" and "Would have"

by CherryK



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Gen, I Needed To Vent, i cried more than once writing this, so many feels, spoilers if you haven't reached retrace 92 yet, that damned retrace 92
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 00:38:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1962333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryK/pseuds/CherryK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The white-haired man kept popping into his life even now, months later. He saw him anywhere he looked or went - but the creaking cupboard doors kept silent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"If" and "Would have"

The form lay on the desk in front of him, just as it had half an hour ago. Reim still hadn’t mustered the strength to start filling it in. A tin of candy, a yawning void beneath its lid, was the only thing to keep him company at this late hour. Part of him was still waiting for the cupboard doors to creak open, for arms in wide sleeves to wrap around him from behind, fluffy white hair tickling his cheek … it was all just another bittersweet memory.

There was nobody left to mess up his reports, nobody to litter candy wrappers all over them.

Nobody would ever again leave cupcake crumbs on his bed way past midnight, and nobody would poke his cheek, impatiently waiting for him to finish work.

Sighing Reim set down his pen. The tears he had shed over Xerxes’ death were uncounted. The white-haired man kept popping into his life even now, months later. He saw him anywhere he looked or went.

He was in the clouds, because that was where the moron had always had his head.

He was in the stars, remembering the way his single, red eye would shine brightly with mirth when he mocked someone.

Now Xerxes only ever mocked Reim in his sleep, making him jolt awake from pitch black nightmares every other night, as his last moments replayed over and over in his mind.

Blood staining his clothes, dyeing the white of his coat crimson.

Tears staining his face, silent streams of fear and regret, as death slowly reached out to grab him …

Xerxes hadn’t wanted to die. But he had never listened to anyone either. His demise could have been delayed, Reim kept telling himself, if only he had been more forceful, if he hadn’t always let him have his way with him … maybe things would have ended differently, maybe things would not have _ended_ at all.

But the cupboard doors kept silent, and Reim raised a gloved hand to his eyes to stop his tears from dripping down onto the documents.

An _if_ and a _would have_ couldn’t change the past, no matter how hard he wished for it.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope nobody expected too much of it, I didn't really put much effort into this. But I guess I feel a bit better now. On to fluffier headcanons!


End file.
